S blindsided me today. I tried so hard to keep him from finding out. I know D is his friend, but… he broke up with me today. Coach told him. How could Coach tell him? Now he’s pissed at me. Why doesn’t anyone believe me?

I should have known Coach said something when everyone just stopped and stared when I walked into the gym. Everyone was in a bunch, listening to Coach, chatting… it got so quiet when I walked in. Like, everybody shut up and stared at me. Even Ben stopped dribbling the ball. How could I not have known? Why did I say anything? In front of everyone S asked me if I had anything to tell him.

“No, I…”

“Lying bitch! D told me you slept with him. At least he apologized. You tried to keep it a secret.”

“Please, S, I…”

“You won’t have sex with me, but you were all hot and bothered for D? Wouldn’t take no for an answer? Get away from me. I don’t ever wanna see your lying face again. Bitch.”

M, S, all of the cheerleading squad are ignoring me. I don’t even know if I’m a cheerleader any more. Coach won’t talk to me. S, D, and the rest of the team are either ignoring me or making fun of me.

What did D tell S? Why won’t he listen to me? It wasn’t my choice. I didn’t… I’m so confused.

Now the whole school thinks I’m a slut. I never should have said anything.

It’s been two weeks. My period should have started today. If I’m pregnant… Mom and Dad will kill me. I only told the counselor in case I was pregnant… why did he tell Coach?

I should have just kept my big mouth shut. I knew letting D take me home was a bad idea. I wish S understood. Now he thinks I’m a slut and never wants to speak to me again. Why does he hate me and not D? I don’t know how to make him see.

Was I wrong? Did I come onto D? It’s all so blurry in my head. I thought I should have been good to drive, but it all got fuzzy after the punch. I think there was alcohol in my drink. There had to have been. I wanted S to drive me, but D did. Why? Why can’t I remember?

I think it was D’s idea… at least I remember him taking his shirt off first. I remember having sex… but no details. I think it was his car, but it might have been my room. Why did I let him do that to me?

Why did Mr. G have to tell Coach? I feel like everyone is judging me. It wasn’t me. I didn’t want to have sex. I don’t know why I did. I just wish I could take it back. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

Note: This blog post is completely fictional.


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