Reading Rottin’ in Denmark, I found myself nodding in agreement. As a woman, it is always validating to see a man stand up for feminism (a.k.a. basic human rights for all genders). Specifically in the context of sexual harassment, and those who claim it is due to being “overly sensitive liberal snowflakes who need safe spaces.” In other words, it’s the “Cry Wolf” argument.
Although about sexual harassment, it also applies to rape culture. Most of my male friends consider themselves to be feminist. Still, some of them have attitudes I can’t quite fathom. When discussing how difficult it is for a rape conviction to come through, they point out it needs to be hard because of all the false allegations of rape ruining mens’ lives.
I believe the false reporting rate is 2-10%, but some point to that as misleading because they are only false if they are provably false. Depending on your news source, you may hear only 35% of rape allegations are true… which is also misleading. Only 35% of rape allegations see charges or disciplinary action against the accused. Further, only 10% of rapes are reported because of the difficulty involved in pursuing charges, questions police ask, and the uncertainty of achieving any real victory at trial even if the evidence is overwhelming. (Brock Turner’s sentence, anyone?)
But all of this is beside the point.
As RiD pointed out, women suffer some of the most sexist abuse when they come forward about sexual assault or harassment. Questions like, “What were you wearing?” “Have you ever engaged in consensual sexual experience(s) with the individual (before or after the alleged assault/harassment)?” “Were you intoxicated?” (which brings its own set of issues… when a man drinks it excuses what he does, when a woman drinks it excuses what is done to her) “How many sexual partners have you had?” “When was the last time you had consensual sex?” A woman’s sex life is laid bare before the courtroom when she alleges rape, and if she isn’t chaste enough her rapist will go free.
Women know the questions they will be subjected to when they report it. Because of the derogatory, irrelevant questions we know we’ll be subjected to, most women don’t bother reporting if there is anything it might get written off for. Personally, I’ve been sexually assaulted and never reported it. It’s been more than once. The reason I never reported it: I’d been looking for sex, dressed provocatively, and had been drinking. It still didn’t mean I wanted to have sex with that individual.
Men take the stance of “you like sex, have sex with anyone.” Yet they rate women by how “boink-able” they are, and comments on how drunk they’d have to be to sleep with them. Yet these same “meninists” call for abolition of rape statutes because women owe men sex, and mans’ privilege is to demand sex from any woman.
We should take a leaf from the Satanic Bible: all sexuality is permitted as long as it’s consensual.